Dating

Seems the most comments I got yesterday were all about dating, so let's keep it going... I need all the help I can get...

Asking Men Out
I believe sometimes men do need a push. Sometimes they Just Don't Get It. I've noticed when I go up to men and introduce myself to them, they are more interested and attentive than if I waited for them to make the first move. I also believe that if a man really wanted to get to know you, he'd ask you out. I also believe that you need to make your intentions clear. I've been in a situation where a former co-worker (who was recently divorced) asked me for some ideas on things to do. I sent him some suggestions, and included him in some emails. He never showed, we sent emails back and forth for a short while, but in retrospect, maybe he was 'asking me out'. I didn't get it. So sometimes one needs to be a bit 'aggressive'. So what to do? Play it by ear, I guess. Do what you feel is the Right Thing to do. I, personally have played the 'aggressor' too many times and I feel that guys date you because you're available, not necessarily because they want to.

Dating Over 40
It plain and simple sucks. Most single's over 40 are either widowed or divorced. Women are looking for someone to take care of them and men are looking for good breeding stock. (This is naturally what humans do, it's in our genes. Women look for protection, men look to increase the herd.) That's where the stereotypes of women loving money and men loving arm candy. In my case, I'm not looking for a Sugar daddy, I don't want to be a kept woman, but I have accomplished some things in my life that I feel a 'partner' should have accomplished too. I'm not looking to be a Mommy either, I don't want to take care of anyone and I certainly don't want to 'fix' anyone.

The type of divorce one goes thru also affects a persons goals. If the divorce was amicable, they are more willing to get into another LTR or marriage than someone who's been dragged thru the coals. This is a generalization, not fact.

So where does one go to find men and women over 40? Who knows? Some of these Middle-aged newly single people hit the bar scene. It may have been fun when you're in your 20's, but it's a different story in your 40's. The noise, the smoke, and the crowds get old VERY FAST, and the fact that you want to be in bed by 10pm and that's when things get started. For women in the bar scene, it's a tough arena. Middle Aged women are NOT in demand (see above about increasing the herd). Middle Aged Men have a better chance with the young chicks (see above about protection issues), but, lets face it, they look stupid. Plus the bar scene is all about Hooking Up: for the night or however long it takes.

Singles groups are good, but there is a lot of hooking up and bed hopping that goes on in some of these groups. Yes, maybe I'm jealous because I'm never the object of desire in these groups, but I want to hold out for someone better. I don't want a 'relationship' based on bedroom behavior. In any group, volunteer, singles or otherwise, men are in short supply. They just don't join any groups.

I know there are men out there who appreciate a middle aged woman with a sense of humor, a good outlook on life, intelligence and a few extra pounds. Just where are they?

Dating OnLine
So now that I've made some contacts online, here's what I'm finding: the Few men that meet my criteria (45-55, within 20 miles, non-smoker, drinker, WASP's) are pretty bleak. I've met one guy in person, we've got a lot in common, like the same music, etc, but he is renting a room from a friend and doesn't own a car (see the Protection issue above). This other guy that I haven't met yet wrote that he travels 40-50% of his time with his job. I don't want that, why date someone like that? So things aren't looking good. I will give Mr. NoCar another chance, but hey, I've got a car and a house, why can't the man in my life have the same thing? Besides, I don't feel like driving him around. Been there done that.

More to come...
As things happen, I'll be posting. Thanks for taking the time to read. You're opinions are welcome but if you have to start calling me names, don't bother, I won't read them. As my Dad says 'Opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one.'